"In this opening episode, New York Cop goes undercover in Miami, Renny & Gaviskon, the French chefs, take a trip to the moon, and Noel creates a felt-tip masterpiece with disastrous consequences."

"In this episode Lysergic Casserole are trapped in a guitar case, Little Chrissie and Spoon Snake visit the Jelly Fox, while God ruins the party."

"In this episode, Dolly falls in love with a hat, Roy Circles reveals how he got over the death of his wife, and Noel uses his magic typewriter to obtain the ultimate frying pan."

"In this show, Noel gets a really important call. Tony Reason speaks about his time working with Bon Jovi, while Fantasy Man tries to capture the Dream Tiger."

"Noel is taunted by a Dolphin Bomber, New York Cop tells the tale of the singing fishfinger, and Secret Peter reveals where Alan Hansen has been hiding."

"Noel discovers that Andy Warhol is a forgery, Tony Reason is visited by his old mucker Tod Michaels, the music-producing hammerhead shark, and the jungle is terrorised by a giant tiger with an STD."

"Fantasy Man gets into a scrape with some chavs, kite-headed Bryan Ferry is decapitated by a racist protractor, and Noel accidentally sets fire to the show."

"The cast of Magnum P.I. try to sacrifice Noel to a volcano. All hopes of being rescued rest on Paul Panfer, an internet sensation who remakes Elvis films on his mobile phone."

"Noel gets fantasy block (a weird strain of writer's block) and if he doesn't overcome this and write an ending to the show, Terry, his only viewer, will be killed by an asteroid"

"Noel's show is turned into a reality TV programme by fantasy terrorist Reality Man. Noel is evicted back to reality and gets a job working in a greasy spoon caf\u00e9."

"Noel realises he is the only person in the show who isn't cool. He has until the end of the episode to become cool, otherwise he will be destroyed by a race of alien cucumbers."

"Noel has until the end of the episode to boost the ratings from nine to 25. If he doesn't, his show will be axed and he and all his characters will be put into storage."